I worked once as a castrator. A Nutcracker is what they called me. I once had a client who didn’t want to be castrated so he tried running, luckily for us had a boomerang so it was no problem. Then I moved to Alabama, incest was commonplace. Cousins would always bring each other to get castrated, sometimes conscious, sometimes not. Anyway when the FBI found me I emigrated to China, there I learned the ancient ways of Kung Fu and by then I was the highest ranking castrator in town, I was feared and respected. Men started wearing armour on their testicles, but that didn’t stop me. I could castrate you from a mile away. I would take the testicles and sacrifice to my god-Šalam. I once visited Germany, I saw this chap with a mustache and decided to test my skills. Anyway now I lead a peaceful life and only castrate occasionally. Although many people consider what I do to be barbaric and illegal. As the old saying goes “You don’t deserve yer balls if you can’t defend them”.