I ran for governor of Arkansas once. I had been motivated to do so after I had prolific epiphanies for political solutions while methed out in my decrepit trailer. The only problem was is that I couldn’t remember them. I went to my first rally tweaking off crack and completely unprepared, not remembering any of my ideas so I got anxious and didn’t know what to say. I ended up dropping my briefs and shitting into the microphone bare-assed with the reverb cranked up as the audience watched in disbelief, farts and bowel growls echoing throughout the convention center. I had emptied my bowels to it’s extent and didn’t know what to do afterwards so I ran off the stage, crying. As soon as I got home, I remembered everything but I was banned from the convention center so i couldn’t give another speech. Truly sad…


Credit to u/cummy_boner