COCAINE is not a ‘DRUG’, it is a PLANT. By that logic you would be saying that WHIPPETS are ‘drugs’ or MY MOMS PAIN PILLS are ‘drugs’ because they all grow from the ground. Simple enough for you’re thick THICK THICK  brain? Good.

Second of all, HEROIN has been 100% PROVEN by STEPHEN HAWKING (sound familiar? Only the dude who invented TIME TRAVEL and COCK and BALL Torture) to CURE HOMEOSWEXUALS. That’s right! The only reason OXY 80’s isn’t legal is because Georgert AL QAEDA Bush invested in big phairmaeceautical and is making literally BILLIONS off VIAGRA BIG DICK CHUNK GORTH PILLS.

Thirdly, CRACK actually makes you think in 17 Dimiensiones contrery to popuAlar belief. Oh, don’t believe me? My older brother BOOFS it all the time and he got a 70 in his PROBATION MANDATED DRUG TEST and he didn’t even study that hard.

Fourthly, yes I’ve had sex and yes I’m VERY good at doing it. The only reason I haven’t done it more is because I’ve been really busy with my TEAM FORTRESS CLAN because we’re training to compete in COLUMBIA in 2077.

Fithly, NO I haven’t smoked OPIUM before. I’m keen to try it though and if I asked my older brother he would probably give me some of his because he knows I’m MATURE and RETARDED for my age.

Sixly, I think mum is getting me a new crack pipe for Christmas which is REALLY nice of her seeing as I know her shifts have been cut lately at the CONCENTRATION CAMP. (Shes really good at concentrating)

OKEYES???!!!

Hopefully that should clear up a few things for you DUMB FUCKIN NORMIES!.