To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the implication of Cuts Like a Knife. Bryan Adams’ precise thoughts are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of an analogous situation most of the significance of the prudently constructed lyrics will go over a typical listener’s head. There’s also Bryan’s profound outlook, which is deftly woven into the song—his personal philosophy draws heavily from amorous literature, for instance. The true listeners understand this matter; they have the mental and emotional capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the lyrics, to realize that they’re not just funny—they say something deep about their situations, too. As a consequence, people who dislike Cuts Like a Knife truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humor in Bryan’s existential catchphrase “…it cuts like a knife, but it feels so right…” which itself is a cryptic reference to a situation faced my many young adolescents. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Bryan Adams’ genius wit unfolds itself into their ears. What fools…how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, I DO have a Cuts Like a Knife tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only—and even then they have to validate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothing personal.