It’s true, I attended Carmen at the Sydney Opera House. Ten minutes into it, I stood up and shouted “I have seen enough! These arias are pedantic! These overtures are banal! And where in God’s name is the beach? Everyone in this production should quit performing forever and perhaps even end their lives, for Sir Hasselhoff would end his life if he knew of this abomination of his greatest work existed.” A sudden silence fell over the audience as they processed the sheer bravery it took for me to say what they all were feeling, yet were too feeble-minded to expound upon on their own. Sure enough, they all stood up and everyone clapped. The lead actress shed a tear for my liberation of her and gave me a kiss upon my rosy cheek.
Just another day!