After searching for the latest Ask Reddit threads to grind karma for my cake day. A suspicious stalker hacks into my reddit account and into my email. He then finds my home address. He sends a threat that if I don’t steal the most expensive item from Tiffany’s he’ll slowly kill everyone I love. I break into Tiffany’s, do I go for the vault? NO. I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down a women catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I go home. The stalker has my cell phone number. He texts me saying to meet him with the item at midnight at the corner of Villa Wynd and Banks Street. I see a hooded figure lurking in the shadows. I hear a bullet fly towards me. I hold my ground. I catch the bullet in my finger tips. He drops to the ground in amazement and flees the scene. I grab the gun. And shoot him in the head. I leave the chandelier in the back of my car. Shoot the engine and walk away from the explosion. The police see me. I flee to the airport. I book a ticket to Mexico. I go to Canada, I don’t want to get caught. I’m forced into hiding. I meet the stalkers twin brother. I flee to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the Chandelier. I die of old age peacefully watching the sunset over my beet farm.