Steven Universe is a TV show about the Crystal Jams! Garnet, Armpit and Paul. They look after Steven Universe and defeat evil monsters. Garnet is the best character. She’s cool and lets Steven have fun. Paul is in love with Stevens dead mother Princess Pinkhair. She’s a crazy person. Armpit is purple. Together they save Beach City and Earth from evil aliens and more. Eventually you find out all of the gems are evil or something. But that’s only after a lot of filler. You can just skip to when Garnet fights a giant cheeto and it turns out she’s just two small lesbian children. Watch Steven unlock amazing powers like…. Spitting. But oh no! It’s not just gem characters we also have amazing humans like…. Curly Hair Blog Guy who tries to murder somebody and nobody even cares. A watermelon also. Character development is done through crying. Why is Armpit so terrible? Remember when she traumatized Steven by turning into his dead mother to taunt his emotionally broken father? And then made up for it by cleaning his garage…. That actually happened. Steven Universe teaches you that even if you understand somebody. You can still hate them.