so, this is actually a fairly tricky situation; but with enough technique, skill and patience i believe that you will be able to remove it from your dirty anus hole. i have experience with this sort of field because i have done it before.

first off, most important step of all is to CALM DOWN! freaking out about the situation that you are having will only further increase your chance of mistakes, leading to injury. you need to completely relax before you do any of the following steps. if you are still worried about it, meditate. watch a netflix show. take a walk in the park with your dog. jiggle it around a little if you feel like it will help; just do anything to calm yourself down and do not do anything before you ARE calm. if you worry too much and panic, your sphincter and pelvic floor muscles could contract, making it more difficult to obtain the hot wheel’s car. it’s completely nonsensical. relax.

now, what you first need to do is to pull your pants down and put lube around the outer edges of your asshole. pulling out dry obviously won’t make things any easier; in fact, it’d just make things more painful and give a way higher chance of complete injury. you put a lot of lube, (it is preferably recommended to put it all over your asscrack for maximum efficiency) and then rub it all around to not make a mess.

next step sounds weird but bare with me, you need to find a trustworthy partner who will be able to fish it out for you. be it your girlfriend, brother, anybody that you can trust to keep their fucking mouth shut about it. now, in my personal experience – since i am a complete virgin, my sister is below the age of consent, my mother is dead and my dog got ran over – i had to personally build a fucking claw machine the size of the ones they have at arcade machines and maneuver it with a joystick and an iphone camera to get it out. it cost $500 and the pride of a computer engineer degree. you probably have people who will be able to do it for you (and probably always dreamed about doing it for you) so just rely on them. swallow your pride and forget about your moral rights if you have to involve family because this is a serious situation that requires outside help and family support. they may have to do it for many hours.

if that fails, the last step is to go to the nearest bathroom toilet, put one leg on top of the lid and PUSH. push like you are giving the birth to a newborn child. i recommend doing this while taking a fuckton of laxatives and pain medications. maybe mexican food.

if all else fails, i’m sorry but you have to permanently live with it. there are no other reliable options that are currently available. it isn’t all bad if you stay with it. it will eventually either get further into your body and permanently stay there, or one day you’d be able to poop it out. i’m sorry that it has to be this way, but let it be a lesson to never put a hot wheel’s car up your butt ever again. it’s a dangerous activity that requires years of professional training and i’m ashamed that you would even put yourself in that high enough of a pedestal to think you’d be able to pull it off. fuck you