Today I was eating at Chick-fil-A and it was packed. There where no tables left open and I noticed someone walk in with a 40mm cannon strapped on his back. A proud patriot protecting his 2nd amendment rights.“God bless America, that hero needs a table. I need to do something.” I looked around and a bunch of blacks and white millennials where giving him an odd look. Perfect. I stood up and yelled, “If you are a gay liberal, get the HELL OUT of this establishment!” all while pulling up my shirt to reveal my conceal carry duel-wield desert eagles. Instantly, about 70% of the people got up and the libtards ran right out of the building like the babies they are. The Muslim terrorist lady taking the patriot’s order was the first to run, tears of inferiority in her eyes. The remaining republicans in the building started clapping and cheering, taking out their weapons in celebration of the liberal cleanse. The 95 year old man in the corner took his .308 sniper rifle out of his pant leg, revealing his massive bald eagle tattoo on his calf. Inspired, I took my shirt off to reveal my beer gut and huge American flag tat across my chest. Everyone in the building followed suit, and together we sang “I’m a Alabama nigger” and drank to our brave 45th president, Donald Trump. After conversing about the border wall, military, and how big we think Jeff Sessions’ dick is, we started to parade around the city and exercise our open carry rights to strike fear in the Democrat spectators. By the end of the day, 5 black people lay dead, and our parade had grown to over a mile of proud, marching Republicans, sporting our arsenal of completely harmless guns.