Waitress: Would you like salt and pepper, chef?

 Gordon: No thank you, darling. Alright, here’s the meatloaf: it’s dry. \*sigh\* absolutely dreadful. Erm, darling, I’m done with this dish. Thank you. No wonder this place isn’t seeing any business; a lot of work to be done here for sure.

 Waitress: \*fart\*

 Gordon: Er, excuse me, darling, what exactly \*is\* that?

 Waitress: Oh, that is, erm, chef’s special piss-and-shit, erm, garnished by a fart. The chef wanted to send this out in regards to your critique on his meatloaf.

 Gordon: Okay, thank you, my darling. Oh, wow, nice consistency, great texture, oh, wow, beautiful color. Yeah, let’s have a taste. \*crunch\* Wow, aboslutely brilliant. This piss is this tangy delight that really opens up the taste of this somewhat solid shit, and, though it is very runny, it’s… it’s rather brilliant. Excuse me, darling, can I see the chef?

 Waitress: Right away, chef.

 Gordon: Are you the chef that made me this dish?

 Chef: Uh, yes chef.

 Gordon: First, you serve me a meatloaf drier than a cat’s tongue, and I’m thinking to myself: “Boy, I’m gonna have to curl my thumb and drive it in your fucking skull, braning you!”

 Chef: Yes, chef.

 Gordon: But then you serve me this angelic bowl of piss and shit. You really came through for me today.

 Chef: Thank you, chef!

 Gordon: Right, well, with dishes like that on the menu, they don’t need my help, they need time; time to spread their wings and take off like the little doves that they are. Good luck, sugar bug cafe. Godspeed!

 Chef: Yeah, I’m not sure what really happened. Chef Gordon Ramsay just came in before the cameras were rolling and shit and pissed into a bowl and then proceeded to put it in the fridge to not “spoil,” then gave us each $13 to serve it to him on camera and say it was my shit and piss.

 Sauce: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-qttt727-I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-qttt727-I)