I’m sick of people praising Pop tarts as such an original idea, they are just toaster pizza pops with different flavour variations.

Now some people will say “well, a pizza pop is just a meat flavoured pop tart” and those people are wrong. Why? Cause fuck you that’s why.

When Paul Faraci invented pizza pops, god wept…

Pop Tarts have absolutely no nutritional value, but they get put in the breakfast aisle? Those things are literal diabetes in a frosted graham cracker. They don’t even taste good unless you warm them up.

Meanwhile, pizza pops are the most versatile meal to ever be invented in Winnipeg Manitoba. You can eat them with the crust cut off like a sandwich if you’re on the go, or with a fork and knife for a more fine dining experience.

“Pizza pops are by far the most challenging yet the most rewarding dish I have ever resisted eating” -Mahatma Ghandi after killing Satan at the battle of Little Big Horn

“Pop Tarts… more like Pop FARTS” -William Shakespeare after totally nailing Queen Elizabeth