No, what’s truly amazing is how I trained my penis to fart. Yes, pure, stinky flatulence.

It all started when I had bowel problems after I attempted to shove my 1998 Honda Civic up my ass. Afterwards I would uncontrollably fart and shit my pants several times a day. This led me to sewing my asshole shut.

Soon, my testicle sack started to swell up the size of a basketball. It became uncomfortable. But after I accidentally sat down on my sack at a work conference, my cock let out the loudest, stinkiest fart my colleagues and I have ever endured.

Sex with my wife got interesting too. She started to love my swollen sack. One night she was blowing me, and she squeezed my balls. Of course, my cock did the natural thing and farted right down her throat. She was surprised by this, but then she surprised me when she burped my fart right back in my face.