It does to my 6 year old.

^Send ^help, ^he ^won’t ^stop ^rewinding ^it

We watch Journey 2 in this household 3-4x a month.

His mother refuses to acknowledge it as a problem and claims “it’s a phase”. Our son is *6*, I don’t want him having a fucking Journey 2 phase. I want him to **change the channel.**

He doesn’t play with the other kids. He just sits in front of the TV, remote in hand, repeating all the lines. Closed captioning is no longer necessary, the kid has memorized the entire script. The threat of him shitting on the carpet is enough to let him do it.

He will turn a 94-minute film (2 hours if it’s on cable with commercials) into a 4-hour broadway production. Yet, there are no intermissions. No snack time, no potty breaks, just pure unadulterated jungle adventures with bad acting throughout. I have walked in on the same few scenes multiple times. I cannot watch Josh Hutchinson’s stupid face stare in awe as Michael Caine rides a giant fucking bee one more time.

Is my son a sociopath? Is this movie his Catcher in the Rye? No fucking clue. What I *do* know is every school year, I’m afraid I’m going to get a call from administration telling me my son drowned a kid in the bathrooms trying to mimic the electric eel attack scene.

I’m so tired. I’m not sleeping at night. I have a promotion hanging in the balance, and all I can hear at 11:42pm is the sound of The Rock yelling at Vanessa Hudgens over and over. I just want Journey 2 to disappear from existence. I want my son back.