I was playing Mario Kart with my family one day. As usual I picked my favorite character, Waluigi. My cousin said to me, “Anon why do you always pick that boring character???” I couldn’t contain myself, “HE’S NOT BORING YOU FUCK! HE’S THE BEST CHARACTER! NOT JUST IN THIS GAME BUT OF ALL TIME!” My mommy came running over and swiped the wiimote right out of my hands. “ANON”, she said, “If you’re going to be like that on thanksgiving then you should just go to your room!” “FINE!!!” I screeched, holding back tears as I stomped upstairs to my abode.
“They just don’t understand” I whimpered tearfully, when suddenly I hear a shuffling in my closet. “W-what was that? Who’s there?”, I inquired. “it’s-a meeee…” the voice cooed. “W-waluigi?” I peeped. The double doors gently opened and from my enormous walk-in closet, my lord and savior, Waluigi, emerged.
He glided towards me, erect. “W-what’s this?” I whispered. He did not answer. I felt myself floating backwards onto my bed and I felt a strange arousal come over me. My clothing removed itself from my body, my belt unbuckling of its own accord. Once I was fully exposed I was lifted into the air, and rolled over onto my hands and knees by the Purple One’s big, strong arms.
Then… he mounted me… claiming my body for his own. As he enters the cave of the unspoken holy, I feel his warmth encompass me. I feel filled up. I feel complete. With each thrust of his love, met with a “WAH”, I feel that I have found my purpose for being. To serve him and his flesh with my flesh. Suddenly, with a mighty “WAHHHHH” he is finished. As his final trumpet of passion sounds, I know that it is finished, that I have served my purpose. I feel him slide out. Flesh out of flesh. And though it was painful I remember that life often is, and to suffer pain for such a great purpose is the only true joy of life. All hail the purple God