Today is Thursday. This is an important fact that I will get to latter.
For all those who don’t yet know, every Thursday, the government resets the week to Monday and calls it Thursday. The government leads you to believe that there are seven days a week, while in reality, there are only four. I count myself as one of the lucky few to have seen proof of this with my own two eyes, about a year ago, I set my internet based alarm for 7:00 am just as usual, but what wasn’t usual was that, according to my atomic clock, I woke up at 6:54.46 am, while my internet clock said exactly 7:00 am. My first thought was as I can assume you all would think, that I had been teleported to an alternate universe and that the travel took me 5 minutes and 14 seconds from the standard frame of reference but no time from mine (perhaps I was transported near the speed of light) and I would have stuck with this theory and gone on with my life in my alternate universe except for one fact: my atomic clock is bolted to a 4 1/2” thick titanium block sealed into the concrete of my floor and locked to the bolt by a very secure lock.
I thought it possible that perhaps the bolt of my clock had been broken so that whoever transported me could have brought just the clock with me on my near light speed journey and simply reattached it to an exact model of my room without the clock in it 5 minutes and fourteen seconds later when I arrived. But lucky for me, I had previously thought of a change in my clock’s bolt and marked it with a specific number: 28005248. Sure enough, when I checked the bolt, it had no sign of damage and written on it in my handwriting, was the number.
Running out of options, I contacted a lock picking expert; until this time, I had absolute faith in the security of my lock, but the only plausible way that I could have been transported to an alternate galaxy in 5 minutes and 14 seconds would be if someone managed to pick the lock.
I invited the lock picker to try to pick my lock and they were impressed by its quality, after studying the lock for some time, that managed to pick it in just under 13 minutes.
At this point, I was out of plausible options for my clock to have been moved at a high speed and I came to realize that, for the government to hide their ability to travel at speeds near the speed of light, they would have to hold control of the internet. This is where it circled back and made sense: my alarm clock ran off of internet time and up until this point, it had always been correct, so either someone made a slip up, or there is someone on the inside trying to let me know the truth.
Anyways, it all circles back to the importance of today being Thursday because, this Monday, I woke up to my 7:00am internet alarm, but my atomic clock read 7:05.14 which leads me to believe that Monday is when the time and week are reset from Thursday and that a full year must pass to correct a major error like the one I experienced about one year ago.