hey janey, im sorry my past actions and words have led to a situation in which you feel i manipulated and groomed you and the rest of the friend group. i understand that having a main friend group of people two grades below me- specifically you, daniel, lauren, and abi- is a bit odd, but i felt welcomed by you guys and i appreciated being friends with you. i understand that our more explicit conversations were a bit out there and im sorry if i have, in the past, made you feel coerced to share explicit details. i do not recall any times where i did that and i know for a fact it was never my intention to make unwanted advanced towards anyone in the group. you guys were what i considered friends and i felt i was just participating in a group conversation.
i regularly trusted you guys with my hardships- especially in regards to my mental health issues- and, as a friend and human being, was there to help you guys when you needed it. i don’t and have never felt like a father figure to any of you, nor do i have a god complex. i always tried to treat you all as friends.
although i do not exactly remember the details of the argument, i always remember actively attempting to heal the divide between you and lauren. i never wanted you two to hate each other and im sorry if any past actions of mine were contrary to that. in fact, i stepped away from the friend group after a desperate attempt to heal the divide between you and lauren because it just lead to distain towards me. in retrospect, i understand it was not my place, and i have since reflected, learned, and grown.
i understand that these feelings about me may have been something that you have sat on for a while and i appreciate your right to let others know how you feel. i would also really appreciate that if you want to talk through some of these issues or feelings together- especially now that we’ve had 3-4 years since the end of our friendship- you know that you’re more than welcome to talk to me. i hope you’re doing well and i’m sorry, again, for any pain i have inflicted in your life. i always remember our friendship as a positive part of my life and im extremely sorry if you cannot say the same for me. please let me know if there is anything that i can do to help us both move past this for a happier future.