Imagine.

It’s 2002. You’re dressed in your cutest lacy camisole dress and black chunky sandal heels. You have a spiky bob, highlighted blonde and pinned back with butterfly clips.

You’re at a college frat party. You have the biggest crush on Jason from English lit and you think tonight might be the night 😏 so you get there and start flirting. He flirts back, hell yeah, he’s totally into it. You go up to his room…

He fucks you on his inflatable couch. It’s a massive fucking disappointment. He never speaks to you again but honestly you’re kind of glad he doesn’t, because while you were having sex he grabbed his inflatable dolphin, booped you on the nose with it, and said “BOOP!”

(**disclaimer: I was 9 years old in 2002 so this is not my story but I’m certain that I just channelled someone’s experience here**)