look virgin, I’ve spent entire weekends not leaving the bed of some hot babe I picked up on a friday night, so your cute little greentext bingo of trying to guess how people fuck is nothing short of hilarious for me

what I’m specifically trying to tell YOU is that nobody in their right mind would want to get mounted by an uggo like YOU for longer than 3 minutes at best

but hey, keep on pretending you’re some kind of sex connoisseur those stories are always funny as shit 😉