I’ve only tried soy milk once. Out of sheer curiosity I licked a single drop of soy milk and instantly grew a pair of fat mommy milkers and my wiener shrivelled off like a dehydrated fig. I also started becoming morbidly attracted to Nintendo products. The moment I noticed this I booked it to the nearest farm and sipped pure cow milk straight from the udders, restoring my peak male form. Never again will I consume a drop of soy milk.