Four. There were four Wosh. The Wosh brethren. Benevolent beings of light, the Wosh existed in darkness. The darkness, evil as it was, drained the brothers. However, evil cannot come from nothing. There is always a root to evil. The Wosh could not spawn such black hatred. No, this darkness came from somewhere else. It came from Garfield. None can look upon Garfield’s form without dire consequences. His form is ever changing and never ending. Those who have seen him and survived describe him as a mass of orange and black. Manifested as the worst of their fears, he entered their minds like ink. This is where the darkness came from. This is where it started.

In this instance of reality, the universes were timeless and void. Nothing existed save for the Wosh and Garfield. The balance of good and evil was equal. Garfield, in his greed, was unsatisfied with this. He desired to control the cosmos. The Wosh brothers knew of his evil and did all they could to keep him at bay. However, Garfield could not be contained. He struck the youngest of the Wosh. This young Wosh was pure and innocent. From his body flowed the rivers of time. All of the cosmos began to age as it sped forwards.

Knowing that the youngest had been injured, the other three Wosh brothers rushed to his aid. A battle ensued. While the brothers fought Garfield, Wosh contemplated time. Now that time flowed freely, reality had also been set in effect. Wosh found himself playing with the threads of this reality. Out of the darkness, Wosh created the first physical light. A star was born. Light exploded from this star as matter erupted in glorious expansion. A bang rippled across the multiverse. From the smallest dust to the largest galaxy, matter erupted throughout the void. All of this came from the first star: The star PeePeePooPoo.

Garfield saw the light that had come forth and flew into a rage. The Wosh brothers tried to stop him, but his anger was pure evil. The first Wosh was struck down by Garfield in a single blow. Time stopped for an instant. The youngest Wosh fell silent. Never before had a Wosh been killed. In his shock, the second Wosh was not prepared when Garfield blasted him into nothingness. The third Wosh flew at Garfield in a last attempt to stop this demon. His attempt at stopping Garfield were futile however. He looked at his brother one last time and whispered, “I do not wish to die.” He dissolved into nothing with a look of fear in his eyes.The last Wosh looked around. There were no bodies. Nothing to remember the ones he loved. A single tear trickled down his snout. A second tear followed. Soon, Wosh was screaming in a pain that comes from the greatest loss imaginable. A blast of pure sorrow and pain erupted from Wosh as he raised his arms in the air. Light in it’s most virgin form came forth from his body. Garfield stood no chance against Wosh’s goodness. He was cast down into another plane of existence. A plane of shadows. Wosh fell silent. He sat amid the universe, lightly trembling.

In his sorrow, Wosh wished to create. He saw that although there was much he had created, it still felt empty. All of the planets were rocky and colorless. Wosh rook matter and molded it into a new planet. A planet filled with life. From his tears, he filled this planet with water to provide it with life force. Wosh poured his soul into this planet. From his soul came forth the first creature. The creature was nothing but a microorganism, but it was beautiful to Wosh. As time passed, Wosh created more and more life. The animals began to swim. Than they began to walk. The animals he had created took to the skies and lived freely. However, he still felt a great sorrow.

Wosh descended upon the Earth with the grace of a feather floating to the ground. He saw an ape. The ape was a simple creature, but Wosh saw potential. He blessed the creature. The ape morphed into something new. Something beautiful. The ape became man. Wosh loved man. He was kind and resourceful. He decided to make another. The two men were very happy together, but Wosh realized they couldn’t frick. Wosh turned the other man into a woman. Thus, the human race was created.

Wosh spoke to the humans. He told them that this world was for them. They were his children. They could do whatever their hearts desired here. However, whatever they do, they must never pat the kittens head and say uwu. This was cringe and frowned upon. This kitten that Wosh spoke of was none other than Garfield himself. Garfield has manifested himself into our mortal plane as a lesser creature. He had corrupted a sweet innocent being with his evil. Garfield approaches the man and beckoned him forwards. He spoke in a gentle voice, “owo.” The man could not resist. He patted Garfield’s head and let out an uwu.

From across the cosmos, Wosh cringed a mighty cringe. His creation had let him down. As punishment, he cursed them with mortality. Man and woman begged for forgiveness. Wosh promised he still loved them, but the deed had been done. An uwu cannot be unuwued.

After all of this, Wosh retreated to the far ends of the cosmos. Wosh wept. He wept for his creation that he was forced to punish. He wept for Garfield, who haunted him day and night. Wosh wept for his brothers. He remembered feeling so helpless when they died. But Wosh cleaned himself up and looked towards Earth. He swore to protect this small planet. He would come back for them.