oh man, im actually fucking fast dude not even kidding. I was once beating my meat while my mom was next room watching TV, I had headphones on but with my inhuman response time I put my pants on AND alt tabbed hentai haven in 134 milliseconds.

truly the most glorious thing I ever did in my life

edit: forgot to mention that that was also the time when the zip was stuck on my dick, was painful but managed to keep a straight face. I definitely learned a lot of things from those hentai girls having vibrators in their vagina while giving a speech keeping a straight face whenever that scumbag protagonist decides to turn it on