Hey Reddit, so, I was playing Fallout 4 that I bought from my local corner shop and it was normal up until I found goodneighbor but it was a bit different and it was referred to as depressedneighbor?????

once I had gotten close enough to it, Funkytown by Lemon Demon started fading in. I was already a bit suspicious by now and thought that maybe Bethesda had added it as like a joke or something or I had accidentally installed a mod.

As I entered “depressedneighbor” (goodnieghbor) I noticed that unlike usual, Hancock wasn’t the first one I ran into for some reason. However I did see a painting that looked like an uncanny version of him, possibly like his emo cousin or something?

He had Hancock’s hat but it seemed to have fishnets on it and he also had like… makeup? Black lipstick, eyeliner, and also a heart on his cheek, almost like an e-girl. He had the hair of someone who was emo in the 2000s. The painting resembled renaissance paintings of royalty or nobility. He sort of scared me a bit but I decided to brush it off, deciding it was a mod that I had accidentally installed (somehow)

I went up to what seemed to be an alternate version of Bobbi no nose who was now called Sobbi no serotonin, and was now a dude for whatever reason, who had a 2007 Justin Bieber haircut and strangely 2000’s emo fashion. His lines were changed, for example “what is going on in my tunnel” was changed to “what is going on in my heart” and he was awfully sad throughout all his dialogue so I decided to leave him be. But he stopped me somehow before I left, and said:

“are you terrified for the fizzy choccy milk contest?”

I was taken aback because this was very, very new and I hadn’t thought there was such a thing as fizzy chocolate milk. I gained the dialogue option of “what is the fizzy chocolate milk contest?” and so I chose it, and I found out that it was an annual contest that the whole of depressedneighbor had to participate in and it was enforced by… Emo Hancock.

I was also given the dialogue option of “who is Emo Hancock?” And so I chose it, and found out that Emo Hancock was the totalitarian dictator of depressedneighbor, and if I didn’t participate in the choccy milk contest I would be thrown into a dungeon and forced to make fizzy chocolate milk for the rest of my days.

I assumed this would either mean a game over, or something I would have to escape. I asked where I could make fizzy chocolate milk in town, and Sobbi no serotonin said “you need to collect oxygen, chocolate, and milk. And then you have to start a fire and put all the ingredients in a pot and then smack them together”

I was a little confused on how I would collect oxygen, but I figured I’d figure out how to do that myself as there were no dialogue options to ask that. So I went out and tried to search for the ingredients needed. While I was searching I stumbled upon what appeared to be a way into a jail cell, I went into the jail cell and found.. Hancock???

I began to worry that this would be my encounter with Emo Hancock, however, I was quickly assured that it was not, by the fact that he didn’t look like emo Hancock, he looked like normal Hancock.

He came up to me and started dialogue, but I noticed he had chems in his hand. During the dialogue, he disclosed to me that he was put in jail by his secret cousin who had planned on taking over goodneighbor. Hancock had spoken ill of fizzy chocolate milk, and landed himself in jail. I inquiered about why he was holding chems, he said that he didn’t even know if they were working chems or not, he just made them to cope with the situation.

Once I ended the dialogue, I heard emo Neighborhood Watches come and shout “WHO GOES THERE?” I can’t lie, all of this confusion had built up and I was left discombobulated and distressed. I really couldn’t comprehend any of this, so the Watches quickly caught up to me and I wasn’t able to escape as I was too busy being confused.

My character was probably knocked out or something, as I woke up in front of what appeared to be… Emo Hancock. He was standing above me, in all his downbeat glory. He said “are you finally awake? good.” and then My Chemical Romance began playing out of nowhere.

Start quotation. “You appear to have been caught sneaking into my cousin’s jail cell. That is a crime, only outweighed by the crime of disrespecting the fizzy chocolate milk which was handed to us by our great founders. Speaking of fizzy chocolate milk… you will have to pay for your crimes by supplying me with chocolate milk for eternity.” End quotation. At those terrible words, I cried. Maybe I had become the depressedneighbor.

I could only wonder what Bethesda was doing. I was sent to the fizzy chocolate milk factory, which was in the middle of nowhere I think? and uh.. uhhhh…. (clicks fingers) .. I don’t really remember what happened next, I think Emo Hancock must have erased my memory or something.. uhhh.. anyway, I was out of the fizzy chocolate milk factory and I, um, I think it was called the.. oxygen brown cow factory I think it was called?

but yeah, anyway. I was in a face to face battle with emo Hancock, somehow the original Hancock had gotten out of jail. He didn’t really do anything the whole fight though, he was very high on his self engineered chems I guess as he was just staring off into the distance without a single thought behind his eyes.

Me and Emo Hancock did a lot of fight moves, I don’t remember, I think there was like some kicks there, some punches.. Emo Hancock was very flexible though, he did a lot of cartwheels, but I somehow managed to kick him in the gut and I think he died??? I don’t know, maybe he didn’t, maybe he just like… maybe he’s still out there

but once I had killed (?) him, Hancock snapped out of his high and started applauding me and it cut to the credit screen and the entire Bethesda crew came out and started clapping and said “you did it, congratulations you defeated Emo Hancock!!!! We thought we would never be free” and then started cheering and applauding me, or something, I think they’re probably gonna erase my memory at some point though.

And that’s how.. I.. and that’s what happened, yeah. It was crazzzzy and wild haha. Don’t ask me if it’s real or fake by the way, it’s definitely real. You don’t need to question it. Oh yeah then, I forgot to mention, that like.. I think at one point Emo Hancock killed my entire family.