The U.S government has been developing a top secret project that i like to call G.A.Y. Similar to the mustard gas used in the trenches of WWI, G.A.Y changes the intermolecular stability of the naturally occurring Yitrium in the air and makes it volatile, when breathed in, it turns deoxygenated blood into ultra-oxygenated blood. The blood travels into the brain and testosterone or progesterone levels are highered or lowered, leading to gayness.

G.A.Y stands for Galvanized Artillery Yitrium, It was believed to be developed in 2016 when Russia sent spies to infiltrate the U.S parliament and take over the government. You know who the spy was? Donald J. fucking Trump.

Testing was… hard, to say the least. We all know testing on living things violates human rights and environmental rights, but those pesky Russians released the gas into the air, and birds. Those MOTHERFUCKING birds inhaled all of it into their tiny little lungs. A statistic conducted in 2018 by the department of retardation in the east wing of the NSA found out that bird populations in Russia were dwindling, we wondered why. Turns out the birds were busy fucking each other instead of fucking the other gender. Even the chickens too. News that the Russian government didn’t want coming out was the great egg famine. No one was allowed to post about it or they were sent to concentration camps or gulags. A famine in a first world country that happened only one year ago. Sad times.

The Russians wanted to utilize G.A.Y to become a weapon of mass destruction or what we nerds like to call a BIOLOGICAL WEAPON to let out into the furture battlefields of WWIII, blame the aggressors to be Pemba and have an excuse to attack the U.S.

Conclusion: The birds are gay. Russians are bad. WWIII is soon.