The air in the delivering room was heavy with the scent of sweat, the sound of grunts, and the sense of anticipation. Hours had passed in that room, and now the occupants were aching for it to be over.

 The soon to be father sat next to the hospital bed, his wife’s hand tightly holding onto his. His eyes quickly darted between her face, seeing her clench her teeth in pain and effort, and to the face of the doctor who stood at the foot of the bed, whom had a smile on his face.

 “Keep going, I can see the head!”

 He announced with glee in his voice, to which the wife responded with another forceful grunt. He felt her grip tighten even more, as his breath almost got caught in his throat.

 The moment was coming. He could feel it. Soon, he would be able to see the face of his child. Years of marriage, effort, and love had all built up to this. He could already feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes.

 He turned to his wife and said “Keep going, dear, you are doing so good!”. She nodded, indicating that she had heard him, before throwing her head back with another groan.

 The seconds passed so quickly, it felt like he was getting a bit light-headed. He could barely believe it was happening. And when he saw the doctor lean in between her legs, he thought he would pass out. His child… Was really here.

 “Ooooh… Oh my, it’s beautiful!”

 He could already see the calm and relief washing over her. She breathed deeply still, clearly exhausted. He, on the other hand, was excited.

 “Doctor, is it a girl or a boy?”

 The couple had decided to not reveal to themselves the gender of the baby until it was with them in the world, as to make the moment where they got to see their child for the first time all the more special. The man was hoping for a boy, truth to be told, a boy he could teach to play ball and teach all the things a man needs to know, but raising a girl wouldn’t be half-bad either.

 But, he didn’t get a response he was expecting. The doctor, still with a gleeful smile on his face, looked up at the man and said:

 “Neither! It’s pizza!”

 The doctor held up a bundle of cloth which he had nestled to his chest, and in the middle of it the man saw… A greasy pizza, fresh, hot oil dripping from it into the cloth. The man look at his wife, pulling away his hand from her with the disgust evident on his face.

 “You… You had sex with a pizza!?”

 “Baby it – It wasn’t like that!”

 The wife exclaimed, reaching out to grab the husbands arm. The husband stood staggered, wide-eyed, and confused. That was when the doctor put his hand on the mans shoulder and leaned in close.

 “Well Don Meij, CEO of Dominos, I’m sorry to say but it seems that once again… You got out-pizzad.”

 The tears the man had felt well up earlier came back, but it was wrong. They were supposed to be tears of joy, but his tears were only filled with sorrow. His wife opened her mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out of her. There was nothing to say.

 Meanwhile, the doctor unwrapped the bundle of cloth and lifted the pizza piece to his mouth. He nibbled at it, before almost dropping the thing and sputtering out:

 “Oh, fresh out the oven! Still hot, still hot!”

 The doctor was arrested for cannibalism on a newborn later that day and was convicted to death row.

 Don Meji’s body was found a week later, having committed suicide by hanging. Dominos filed for bankruptcy the same day.