All right, here I go. **In the name of science** (of course, right), *I once tried to figure out how long I could edge (delay ejaculation) without stopping masturbating* (I’m a guy btw, just to clarify). Why? Because I was bored and I have a curious mind. Quick teaser: NOT GOOD.
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So, at about 1PM I began my Pornhub adventure, eagerly beating the meat to the beautiful symmetries that were being showcased by several voluptuous women. A general rule I’d had noticed before: the longer I delay the orgasm, the better it is. So… in my mind, I had projected this amazing experience if only I could keep on masturbating for at least several hours without climaxing. **As a true scientist, I took live notes as I went along, so… here I am to grace this subreddit without my observations** (the below is just a summary):…
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For the first 40-50 minutes, really nothing out of the ordinary happened, but a little later, my hand slowly began to become tired. At that point I decided to interject intermissions of 20 minutes each time my hand became tired. During these breaks, my erection subsided. Normally, letting the erection subside without ejaculating is not healthy for the testicles because it causes an excess of blood (caused by the prolonged sexual arousal) to get stuck in the testicles instead of continuing to circulate. During the first break, this did not cause any physiological distress. However, after two to three hours, the infamous blue balls had taken on an extreme proportion.
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Blue balls are caused by an accumulation of non-flowing blood in the testicles and cause extreme tenderness (in the medical sense) in the scrotum (and in everything inside it), a “heavy feeling” in the scrotum experienced by the brain as pain and various degrees of nausea as time progress and masturbation continues without relief. So after a few hours without ejaculating, I was experiencing all of that, but I dedicated that – for science – I should continue masturbating anyway, so that’s what I did. Logically, the symptoms only got worse. Before the 4-hour mark, the nausea had increased and the pain had begun to radiate to my lower back; the latter of which makes sense, given that sexual activity increases the blood flow towards to entire abdominal region, and not just the scrotum.
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Now there are two ways to get rid of blue balls: 1) ejaculating at least once. 2) waiting it out, but that can take a lot of time (read: many, many hours). After 5-6 hours of working the wood, grinding the pole with my hand, I decided that the pain had become too uncomfortable to continue the experiment. This is the moment at which all cum-crazy girls and guys should rejoice, because, yes… the moment of the long-awaited ejaculation had come. By that time, I was superhorny. I picked a nice video of a hot girl dildo’ing herself and just seconds later my dick erupted. The amount of cum that came out of it was unprecedented (for myself) and I just couldn’t believe how much cum there actually was. Never in my life had I ejaculated so much milk of my own brand.
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**Anyway, you would think that ejaculating was a great experience, but it was not**. In fact, it was quite anticlimactic, to put it very lightly. Instead of giving me joy and euphoria, it physically hurt my testicles, I became dizzy for around 5 seconds and then a wave of extreme nausea hit me. My balls hurt so much, that I had to sit down and surrender to the primitive urge of cupping the balls with my own hand. Now the problem here is that my scrotum and its contents were also extremely tender, so I immediately had to withdraw my hand again because touching and moving one of the testicles even slightly hurt even more and re-induced another wave of extreme nausea.
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Minutes later I noticed that I still had blue balls. And that’s only logical. If you allow blood to build up in your testicles for hours, it is unreasonable to expect that just one ejaculation will clear the system, flush the testicles entirely. I was still recovering from what was not a pleasant ejaculation at all, so I was absolutely not ready yet to go again. I decided to wait an hour; an hour during which the nausea persisted, as well as the pain that had radiated to my entire lower back. With 15 minutes to spare before giving it another go, the nausea had become less severe and the pain of the blue balls had become limited to just the scrotum. My next ejaculation was much less painful, but still not enjoyable at all. Nevertheless, a good hour later, I barely felt the blue balls anymore and it seemed that I had returned to my pre-experiment state, although a major difference here is that it felt like I had completely destroyed my sex drive.
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**CONCLUSION:** It was an interesting experiment, but it in the end… it’s just self-administered torture and I will never do this again. It hurt, it made me feel nauseated and just uncomfortable in general, and that for the last 3 hours of the experiment. A true scientist would see if the results can be replicated, but I’m going to pass on this one. Also because I suspect this experiment may have caused permanent damage to my reproductive structures.
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Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk