Many of you out there probably believe fidget spinners are just a toy for kids. You don’t know how fucking wrong you are. Fidget spinners were designed for elite athletes, CEOs, and archbishops. Kids merely adopted the spinning, we were born in it, moulded by it. I’ve dedicated my life to fidget spinners. I’m the only truly certified grand master of fidget spinners; 3 time defending world champion WWE belt holder of fidget spinning. So I believe I’m the only one truly qualified to tell you that fidget spinning is a man’s sport, a man’s man’s sport. I was once a boy who became a man thanks to fidget spinning and also natural ageing. Do you wanna know the difference between me and a child? I’m 22 fucking years old, children are usually under 12 depending on what criteria you’re gonna use to classify someone as a child so think about that shit next time you see me torpedoing down a slip-and-slide sailing at an atom splitting 68 miles per hour going straight into a fucking brick wall of manliness. How do I stay in top physical form becoming this athletic specimen that scientists can’t even fully understand? Well it’s all thanks to my workout and diet regimen that would make even LeBron James shit his pants. I wake up at 4 am everyday, I drink 3 raw eggs with the side of pancakes with nails sprinkled on top and also a glass of straight uranium, I then grab my favourite fidget spinner: the triple XL gold-plated 25 pound weighted Air-Cutter supreme-extreme maximum turbo overdrive spagooter with pump-action assault-grip as well as extended magazines and a silencer, I’ve even customised this bad boy with a laser dot sight with a green finish as well as further modifications including hydraulics, 3D printing capability as well as doubling as a fax machine. This is a gadget straight out of MI6, this is right brewed up from fucking Q laboratories- he used to make gadgets for 007 now he’s making fidget spinners for me. Do you still think this is a fad for kids you fucking troglodyte? Well I guess if that’s how you wanna spin this story, but for me I know the truth, I know that this game was made for men and I’ve mastered it. I live and breathe fidget spinning. So go ahead, play your boring traditional sports like football and baseball. I’ll just be here like a disc-jockey spinning it. Hugh! Sorry about that, just had to dodge another vagina that was just tossed at me, it’s not easy being the grand master of fidget spinning.