AHAH! THE EVIL EMPIRE IS BACK, BABY! 9 years, 324 million dollars the best pitcher you’ve ever seen, Gerrit Cole is a New York Yankee. Brian Cashman did it! He took a fucking plane across the country, he wasn’t going back without Gerrit Cole. The New York Yankees are back, the Evil Empire. If you ever call the Steinbrenners cheap, go fuck yourself. They spent all the money in the world. The highest pitcher in baseball history by a million dollars, by a hundred million dollars, sorry! Oh my God. The Evil Empire’s back. You have no fucking chance EVER again. The Yankees might go in as a fucking -1000 World Series favorite next year. Oh my God, Jared Carrabis, he was trying to jinx it as much as he could. Not a fucking chance, pal. Dallas Braden ‘oh, there gonna have to pay more than 245 million dollars.’ Guess what? They fucking did by like 80 million. Oh my God Gerrit Cole Luis Severino forever? Uh, what a moment. The Evil Empire’s back. Batten down the hatches. Hide your fucking children. The New York Yankees are coming for every World Series. We didn’t win a World Series last decade? Guess whert? We’re gonna make up by winning every single year in THIS decade, and the decade after that. Everyone’s fucked, EVERYONE’s fucked, the New York Yankees are back. What a moment Gerrit Cole, is a New York Yankee. Happy birthday to me.