I don’t tell anyone I know about this except my girlfriend because, well, it’s kinda disgusting. But there’s something so triumphant and pleasant about putting a massive, thick toenail in my mouth and chewing it, after I clip it. I like the way it feels between my teeth. And sometimes I get extra little bits of skin on there, which feel nice too.

I never swallow it. Rather I wait until enough bits have come off that it’s too small for me to enjoy. That or I have my lunch or something, or have to meet someone.

Sometimes it’s dirty under there and I relish the smell of the nail before I put it in my mouth. If I can see it’s visibly dirty then I’ll make sure to wash it. Not for the taste but because I want to feel somewhat hygienic.

I’d be horrified doing it with anyone else’s nails, but it’s nice with mine. I do it with the others too, but none hit quite like that big toenail. Mmmmmmm