I don’t find anything in life worth living. I’m tired of the endless cycle of getting up in the morning to do nothing. I don’t know what to do anymore because frankly its driving me insane. I wake up, just so I can stay in bed for hours and hours. The only time I get out of bed ist take a shit or eat. The last few months have been extremely depressing and exhausting. I have lost interest in pretty much every person or hobby. I have no ambitions and no goals. Additionally to that come the crippling social anxiety attacks. I cant even open the door for the mailman or pick up a call. That’s why I have my phone on airplane mode, by that I’m isolating myself even more. I’m an empty husk, rotting away as I binge watch YouTube or some TV series. This is by far the most effective way of eliminating the unbearable pain of existence. Somehow everything is exhausting, causing me pain. I barely leave my room, nobody fucks with me in my room. Here I am alone, in safety because I know nobodys ever coming through that door. Not a single person in my life knows anything about this and I’m afraid of telling them because i don’t want to risk getting sent to a mental hospital or loosing the few friends I’ve managed to make. Honestly it’s been so long, I’m just a ransom somebody in their lives. Some easily replaceable person like a battery. And like a battery, I feeI empty and drained. I cant tell anybody and its burning me up inside. It’s eating me from the I side out. I feel like I’m slowly drowning in an infinitely deep tar pit.