No Nut November 2018 was the most magical experience of my entire lifetime. The challenge of going an entire month without busting a single nut was a bit intimidating at first, but as soon as I got through the first week, I realized that it was going to be a cakewalk. Day 1 was by far the toughest day. The nuts were everywhere. I woke up and slid into my fluffy unicorn slippers. I was ready to take Day 1 of No Nut November head-on. I walked into my kitchen, opened the cabinet to meet my first challenge: a giant container of pistachios. The sweet green salty goodness that came from busting open a pistachio was calling my name. I was just about to unscrew the giant blue lid of the container when a thought entered my mind: busting these nuts would ruin my goal of completing No Nut November and achieving absolute greatness. I shut the door to my cabinet and continued my day without a single thought about a nut. All of the following days went according to plan, except day 3. Day 3 snuck up on me like a creepy uncle ready to unleash profane language upon underage children at a local playground. I was taking my usual path to work when the fresh orgasmic aroma of nuts penetrated my nostrils. The sweet-salty aroma led me to a local supermarket filled with every breed of nut that one could imagine: peanut, macadamia, cashew, coconut, almond, and even the mystical pistachio. All of these nuts were waiting and begging for me to bust them and ingest their succulent flavor. I sprinted to the nearest wall filled with pistachios, but I was immediately tackled by a worker at the supermarket. He screamed into my ear and said, “You can’t go down like this fellow nut consumer! This will ruin your chances of reviving your taste buds for the next month where you can bust as many nuts are you want!” At this moment, I achieved Nirvana. I no longer wanted to bust a nut for the entire month of November. Please read this story and learn from my mistakes, so that you, fellow nut buster can go through the month of November without busting a single nut.