Noah never got his second coming. Jesus made sure of that. He was never one to stick around, but who could blame him? When you’re the Son of God, Daddy’s always watching. But Jesus knew his father made Moses for a purpose. So that Sunday, Jesus Christ, or J.C. As his apostles called him, made his way to Moses’ house, muttering Hail Mary’s under his breath because of what (or who) he was about to do.

Knock.

He shouldn’t be here.

Knock.

This is a mistake.

Knock.

Moses materialized out of thin air, carrying his Shepard’s staff and dressed in simple garments, that (had it been any other man) Jesus would normally not find unattractive. But Moses was no ordinary man.

“My Lord and Savior,” Moses said, “what brings you to Egypt?”

“I heard what you did for your people,” Jesus said. “I came. To thank you.”

That was mostly true. Jesus came to thank the Shepard, but he would not leave until the Shepard personally thanked him.

“Really?” Moses stammered. “You came for me?”

Jesus couldn’t help but laugh. “For you, I”d come any day.”

Moses’ eyes widened with pleasure. “My prayers havebeen answered!”

He let Jesus inside, not knowing that soon he would be inside of Jesus.

The two men sat at a table for supper.

“Would you like some water? I’m afraid it’s all I have,” Moses said sheepishly.

Jesus chuckled. “You forger who I am.”

With a devilish grin, he turned the water into wine.

As Jesus took his first sip, Moses teased: “I know something else you can swallow.”

Jesus choked on his liquor, nearly spitting it out. He felt an intense surge of shame when Moses, as sly as a fox, pulled out a slice of bread.

Jesus cocked an eyebrow. “Those weren’t the buns I was expecting.”

“Oh really,” Moses said, “which buns were you expecting?”

Jesus felt his phallus inch closer to heaven, throbbing with holy spirit. Unable to deliver himself from sin, he reached for Moses’ staff. It too inched closer to heaven.

Moses shuddered at the touch. Every nerve ending in his body was a live wire. Unable to resis his desire for the body of Christ, he led Jesus to his bed.

Moses planted feverish kisses on Jesus’ lips, slowly migrating to his chiseled jaw, stripping him with his teeth. Jesus wrapped his arms around Moses, firmly squeezing the buns he had been expecting. They were firm.

As he pulled their bodies flush, Moses growled in Jesus’ ear, nibbling on the lob. “Let me take you to the land of milk and honey.”

Jesus was caught off guard momentarily, but a new found excitement coursed through his veins and he turned Moses over, ready to sodomize.

“Jesus Christ,” Moses said, “you forget who I am!”

With brute force, Moses flopped their positions, parting Jesus’ cheeks like he did the Red Sea. A low moan escaped Jesus’ lips.

Moses toyed with the Son of God. At first, he gently kissed his back slowly making his way down to Jesus’ tight, brown eye. Jesus egged him on, moaning his father’s name in vain.

“Oh God!” Jesus screamed, as he felt Moses’ staff pulse. This was his purpose!

“Bite the pillow,” Moses commanded. “I’m going in dry.”

This wasn’t the first time Jesus had been nailed, but it was the first time he enjoyed it!

With each thrust, Jesus felt the sting of Moses’ burning bush, until his own caught fire, and he was in ecstasy..

He felt Moses tense inside of him. And then he felt the Nile flushing his bowels.

“Thy kingdom cum,” Jesus moaned.

“That was the milk,” Moses teased, “now here’s the honey!”

Moses poured the concoction onto Jesus’ chest, licking his fingers seductively, and continued spreading the thick syrup until Jesus’ phallus glistened. Moses feverishly licked it all, lapping his tongue around the most sacred cock known to man. Jesus squirted his own milk.

“My Prince,” he says, caressing Moses’ beard.

Exhausted, the two men slept for three days, and though Jesus had to leave, Moses vowed to abide by the ten commandments, until Jesus returned for his second cumming. But he would not. Already, Jesus slipped through Moses’ fingers, scouring the globe for his next lover.