Standing and wiping? How the fuck do you keep your ass cheeks from closing and mushing that nugget when you get up? Do you hold your ass cheeks apart with your hands as you get up, or do you savages have some special muscles that keep your buttocks apart that the rest of the civilized world does not? I’m beginning to understand where all those smelly ass stories come from, some of you imbeciles need to be hunted down and sterilized.