Could you imagine opening a jar devoid of pickles, just the juice left. You open your mouth, drool slipping down your chin. The sour stench of vinegar and cucumber becomes more potent with the opened orifice. You lower your head, reminiscent of a dog, and stick your pointed tongue straight into vinegar. You lap it up, drinking like a horse at a stream. You’re pathetic. That’s fucking disgusting.

I hope you enjoy your stupid fucking pickle water. Me and the rest of humanity with dignity are gonna eat red bleeding meat like real fucking Americans