Look Chicago, I get it. It’s cold, it’s windy, the air is 75% bullets. You just want one thing you can hold onto to make your decrypted shithole of a city worth living in. But this ain’t it. Deep dish pizza is just lasagna (or a casserole if some butthurt Chicagoan wants to come at me with the exact definition of lasagna).

Chicago sucks, and so does your deep dish of lies.