I just shat myself.
# FAQ
# What does this mean?
I uncontrollably took a massive shit in my pants, releasing the contents of my bowels into my brand new tightey whiteys.
# Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may have shat myself. These include, but are not limited to:
* Ate beans for lunch
* Have a history of poor bowel control
* Just saw your comment which made me laugh / cry / orgasm so hard that I succumbed to the pressure the turds in my bowels had on my asshole.
# Am I banned from the Reddit?
No lol, all I did was crap my pants, I may have made a mess in my clothes, but at least I can still browse my favourite subreddit, r/dankmemes.
# I don’t believe your undies deserved a giant shit. Can you remove it it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I remove the shut from my pants, as this is a great learning moment to understand what went wrong. If you would like to issue a removal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several years. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of shit-in-my-pant removal requests are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
# How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the giant shit in my pants and move. But learn from this mistake: Maybe I should eat less for breakfast lunch and dinner, or maybe I should shit in a toilet more often, either way, I’m going to continue this shitty behaviour if I don’t do anything. Remember: clean undies are privilege, not a right.