Dear family and friends,

I will not fix your computer.

I ask that you remind yourself why you want me to. The inevitable answer is that it is expensive to hire a computer repair shop or the manufacturer to do it for you, and you don’t want to pay them.
Technicians are educated, and an educated person’s time is worth money. These ideas taken together mean you are asking me to give you something, in some cases worth hundreds of dollars.

I am a software developer, and a darn good one. While this implicitly means that I most likely know a whole heck of a lot more about a computer than the teenager working for the mom-and-pop computer repair shop, I am not proficient in the tools and procedures needed to undo whatever it is you did to your computer.

Fixing your computer is boring to me. I really dislike it. My profession is exciting to me and not at all like repairing your computer. I pay for premium warranties for my equipment. I pay for antivirus/firewall/internet security products.

Every moment of every day I choose to either be working or not working. If I am working, it is only reasonable that I do the work with the most value to me. That value is the sum of the enjoyment from doing the work and the monetary rewards reaped from the same. Therefore, if I am working, it ought to be developing software. The most viable option to me, presuming I choose to help you, is to pay to have your computer fixed less whatever you would have paid me. In the time saved by not fixing your computer myself, I should perform my profession. I will make more money and be happier this way. Do note: I am no more inclined to actually do this than anyone else you know who earns a better salary than the computer repair guy.

I will not teach you how to use a computer. I will not build you a website nor help with your get rich quick scheme. I will not help you pirate software or media.