lately, there’s been a lot of fuss about someone claiming balls have tastebuds. They said that our genitals can sense sweetness. i saved you the shame.

in the name of science, i poured myself a cup of water and added two cubes of sugar. i stirred with the might of god, and unzipped my pants.

my skinny dip was shortlived. expectations were not met. i shoved my balls into the sweet, sugery water with hope, but my boys came out disappointed. not a taste. the only feeling was the cool water rushing and wirling against my two, hairy beasts.

here i sit, with shame and—worse—wet balls, writing to save my fellow men the utter humiliation curiousness leads too.

my hypotesis was wrong, but even if i just dipped my testicles in sugerified water, i did it for science. i did it for the betterment of humanity. you may laugh, but i will always smile, even past my grave, about how much i helped. i did my part. i can die, no longer restless, but in peace.

tl;dr: i shoved my balls in sugar water

edit: a lot of people have been saying that your ballsack doesn’t have any tastebuds, but your actual testicle do. next week i’ll cut open my ball sack and truly test if this is true. i’ll update y’all.