The TV signal finally goes out, the apocalypse is in full effect. I pear out my shut window blinds to see what’s going on outside. The ray of light temporarily blinds me before I see the carnage outside. Some normie hipster chad’s getting his brain ripped out by a zombie as he pleads for mercy. Guess all that weight training was for naught 😎

A horde starts gathering outside my bedroom door, yet hardened pile of doritoes and monster packaging provides a natural barricade that buys me time to prepare. I hear my mom’s cries of pain from down the hallway. Fucking bitch, that’s what you get for not bringing me my tendies.

I look around the room for something to defend myself with. My trusty 7-fold katana hangs on the wall, begging to be used by its master. I grab it off the wall and ready my stance. Heh, all those normies at school telling me playing games wouldn’t help me in life, yet i’ll be the only one to survive. In this new world, I am the alpha predator.

The barricade begins to shift as the zombies start slowly moving their way into my room. I fold a greasy strand of hair away from my eyes and behind my ear. I struggle to stand up, having not needed to for weeks, and prepare to defend my honor.

As the first beast breaks past the door and bolts towards me, I lunge forward ready to strike. Just then however, I slip on a discarded tissue and fall straight to the floor. The impact causes my Mikasa figure to fall from its shelf onto my face. As I try to remove it, the horde leaps full force onto me and thrashes at my skin. As the life drains from me and I near my unjust end, I have only the strength to utter 2 more words

‘Fuck society’