I’ve always had trouble affording toilet paper.. Why is it so expensive? What’s the big difference between 1 ply and 2 ply toilet paper and does it even make a big difference? 350lbs lost later and I finally got all the answers I need.

Now, instead of scrambling to go to the variety store next to my house for a quick roll of toilet paper after some crunch wrap supreme’s disagree with my bowels and stomach I can just pull some of the skin from my ass to wipe it clean. Now talk about convenient, huh? Best of all, free convenience. It’s durable too. Before the toilet paper would split and tear while wiping; but now, my skin swipes and rubs against itself, wiping my butt clean. It doesn’t even waver a bit.

“But all it does is spread the feces to another part of your body” some of you might say. Well, have you ever heard of a shower you troglodyte? One of those puppies a day and not only my ass will be squeaky clean; but my entire body.

I’ve saved so much money from this method I can afford more facial wipes until I find another way to replace tha- OH WAIT.