I created a piece of media that became extremely popular online within the last five years. I wouldn’t call it a household name, but it’s close. I’m not insanely rich, but with a small amount of planning and care I will easily be able to pursue art for the rest of my life without concern.

I have a large online fandom, and I’ve gotten crazy messages from people in the past. I had multiple experiences (well, two) where immediately after becoming popular I tried hooking up with someone online who revealed they were a fan of mine once we met up (having concealed it during texts/calls). I wasn’t comfortable with this and especially wouldn’t have been comfortable with someone meeting me on this basis who I wanted to form a long term relationship with.

I met my current fiancee online, and she hadn’t heard of me or the thing I made, which I was really happy about. After a few months together I told her about it and she started to go through what I made and loved it. A LOT of early relationship is based on her going through it and us talking about it.

I don’t want to say how (I wasn’t spying on her or going through her stuff) but I found out recently that she was a huge fan of mine prior to us meeting (to the extent of having written a novel-length fanfiction about it). I’m devastated and really creeped out.

I spoke to her about this and told her I needed time and I haven’t called her/answered her texts in three days. She’s apologizing like crazy and I’m not sure if this is something that is even worth giving her another chance. She lied to me SO MUCH.

Am I crazy to think this is worth talking about? I also love her and she had a bad family history that provides a partial explanation for why she did this but man. It’s too much. Advice wanted.

TL;DR: My maybe-will-be wife founded our relationship on a big lie (that she didn’t know who I was) and I found out she did and specifically seeked me out because she was a fan of mine. I feel really emotionally creeped out and don’t feel like I can trust her anymore. Should I even give a second chance and try talking?