Sure you’re sorry, you swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn’t empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you’d better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin’s Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don’t like you. I don’t like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend, coward, degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion–i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. Allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. I’m fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is anabomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term “human” and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It’s so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that’s the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man’s body will understand it. I would rather withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it, give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water, stub my big toe over 50 times in one day, be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever, be a LITERAL cuckold, get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward, undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair, undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless, be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight – for the rest of my life, have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

…than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

I have no sympathy for you. I feel bad for myself for being forced to interact with you. Its bullshit that you are conscious and had to be in my vision. I will never recover from this – you have single-handedly jaded my view of the world and made me very hopeless and cynical. I have been violently puking in 20 minute intervals due to your worthlessness. You’re character is so devoid of any charisma that the only thing to do to would be to force you to change via bullying. You are a moronic human being after all things are considered. Don’t you dare stop reading my long insult that I am hurling towards you. Don’t even think of skimming over even a small portion of it. You need to peruse my long personal attack towards you with great intensity, and take all the hurtful things I have said about you very seriously and personally. The pain and suffering that I have been forced to endure due to you having briefly crossed paths with me has been excruciating. You put such little effort into thinking about your words, its almost as if you farted them out of your mouth. While you do this, your posture looks as if there is extra gravity weighing your down – so much so, that you look as if you’re drowning in a bog all the time. Struggling to make it out of the bog with each step you take. I harbor such deep feelings of pity for myself that I now consider myself to be less fortunate than a diseased homeless person – all because I interacted with you for an extremely brief moment. The length of our interaction was so short that if it was an interaction with anyone else for the same amount of time, I would have forgotten about it incredibly quickly and wouldnt have even been able to recall the basic premise of the interaction. However, since it was you, this interaction could and should be deemed as a crime against humanity. I will demand my doctor to prescribe me a cocktail of antipsychotic meds, xanax, ketamine, and barbiturates. I will be talking large amounts of each of the aforementioned drugs at the same time in hopes of offering me fleeting symptoms of mild relief from the trauma you have caused.