hey gamers i have figured it out! while i was being chased and shot at by the russian mob on my way here, i was thinking of the new spiderman movie. specifically, the dj khaled crossover nba finals commercial. i had figured it out, that commercial you saw contained alternate footage to avoid spoilers and advertise whatever the hell they were trying to adverstise in that commercial. “what do you mean” you ask. well i’ll tell you! dj khaled killed uncle ben! let me explain. at the beginning of the first amazing spiderman movie, some loser shoots uncle ben in the most intense action scene in cinematic history. in the sequel to this film, it ends with spiderman flinging a sewer plate the technologically advanced version of rhino, but we never truly see how the fight unfolds and the outcome of it. so what happened? i’ll tell you. the sewer plate is ineffective to the rhino, and rhino laughs and cracks a hilarious one liner and the audience laughs. seeing how the amazing spiderman 2 was indeed the best spiderman movie with it’s writing and stuff, it suprises the unexpecting spectors as rhino shoots a rocket at spiderman, killing him instantly. why is this important? oh i’ll tell you! you see, judging from the technology around them, it’s easy to assume that the amazing spiderman 2 took place sometime around 1997. peter parker was reincarnated into a completely different peter parker in about 1999 or 2001 who is the peter we see in civil war and is starring in spiderman homecoming. when he was reincarnated, he brought his spider-genes with him! that is why we dont see a backstory with the new one, becuase he was born with the powers. anyways, we see this scene with spiderman and dj khaled, right? well, dj khaled is actually the poorly aged murderer of uncle ben who got plastic surgery after people saw him commit the crime of killing ben. when spiderman sees dj khaled, it triggers a memory from a past life and our hero knows that this is who he had been searching for. he listens to him for a second before he throws the first punch. dj khaled, however, is an extreme athlete and does two back flips, landing behind the clerk’s desk. spiderman quickly fires a webline in his direction, but khaled grabs it and pulls spiderman as hard as he could. spiderman slams his head on the clerk desk and falls to the floor. khaled flees the scene and runs to the avengers tower for the party, but spiderman knows where he is going. he couldnt go in head on, as he would be expected. he knew what he had to do. khaled is at the party, thinking he is safe, but nobody gets away from the spiderman. peter is on an adjacent building with a silenced 50. cal sniper rifle. he looks through the site and sweeps the building for the rapper. he finds him, places his finger on the trigger, and pulls it. he sees khaleds body fall to the ground and lowers his weapon with satisfaction. he flees the scene and continues his super hero career in the marvel cinematic universe. this is the conclusion of dj khaled’s role in spiderman homecoming.