Young pimps start practicing young. You wanna move from the street to the pros? Start slapping that pillow around in the crib, aight? You’re just practicing technique. Don’t worry about force yet, you’re still a baby. You’re gonna be doing a lot of slapping, so you want to make sure you get the technique down right so you don’t strain your wrist and shoulder and get that tennis elbow.

Once you get your slap down right, hang some ripe tomatoes from a ceiling fan and practice smacking them until you can cause them to explode on contact. Then move your way up to harder things, like cantaloupes and other melons, and finally one of those…poles with the sticks coming out of it like you see in that Bruce Lee movie. You’ll be unstoppable.