The walls are screaming at me everybody hates me why did I do this? Those little kids had a full life ahead of them and I took it away just like my dad has taken away my freedom. Here I am, gun in my hand, getting closer to my head, finger in the trigger, but I am too much of a coward to pull it… that’s what I have always been, huh.

As a kid, I thought that when I grow up I would have my own mansion and a loving wife. Well, I did have a wife but she took the kids and then I took their lives… I am a fucking monster. What the hell is wrong with me? We could have had a good relationship but I just had to threaten her at gunpoint and break her mother’s urn didn’t I?

I am so sorry, Hellen, I would tell you to comeback but you would only come back to a corpse. What am I crying for? I deserve this. I am a monster who doesn’t have a reason to live. A murderer who killed his own flesh and blood. They had already suffered enough from my alcoholism then I go and beat them to death.

Sorry, kids. I was forced to. I wish I could meet you but I already know I am going to hell and your innocent minds are going to heaven.