once upon a Time a lonely pp was on a quest to find ur mom
in a world segregated between small and large, pp was the itty-bitty but was determined to find ur mom and be the ancient hero, as predicted in the great proverb “size doesn’t matter”
while he knew that size didn’t matter, something he didn’t believe in was the ur gei movement and was thus constantly conflicted by size and sexuality
was he gei? no, he was surely destined to find ur mom, but on his totally most definitely not- gei journey he was accompanied by his long time best friend, herobrine
of course, he and Herobrine sometimes partook in gei activities but they always wore black socks during these activities and swore no homo afterwards so they were fine
they were quite the pair of bros, however, little did they know they were being followed by none other than Johnny test, who Herobrine swiftly broke all relations and bro-job passes with after Johnny didn’t say “no homo”
having originally left pp for Johnny test, Herobrine could not return with his original bro and was thus forced to continue his quest to find ur mom alone. it had become a race to ur mom
over time, they only longed for each other (no homo of course). ur mom was simply a side quest in their game of love. Nevertheless, both came across their own unique set or perils
for pp, these perils included a pit full of luigis in all their delicious, sausage like bodily glory screaming his name and ominously chanting no homo
when compared to pp, Herobrines troubles seem miniscule. kill the ender dragon, revive joergon, rescue a small village etc. But his hardest obstacle was yet to come, protect his heart from the ever elusive, sexy, Swiper. Swiper’s model appearence nearly distracted Herobrine while Swiper was stealing his heart
but swiper did not love pp back which in his case was extremly hard for pp
swiper was just reaching into herobrines chest cavity to pluck his heart and a few of his other vital organs out when pp suddenly appeared having passed the Luigi pit with only a hint of homo clinging to him. he shouted “swiper no swiping” in the most ominous voice he could muster. but this only encouraged swiper who decided to steal both their hearts
without a very vital organ, both Herobrine and pp were left heartless and dependant on each other. In the perfect story, this would further their bromance, on the other hand, pp was furious Herobrine was on the same quest for ur mom
they new that they had begun the quest working together but with every new complication they had passed, the once bromance had quickly turned into a rivalry of sorts. everything they did turned into no homo. pp accidentally brushed herobrines hand when they were both attempting to kill water sheep before the deadly pewds could do it himself. After that they couldn’t even look at each other without first screaming a series of no homo
having thougt Herobrine would abandon the quest once they parted ways, pp had gained a new respect for his bro, no, rival. Besides that, the pair had a new obstacle I front of them. Pewdiepie the meme killer. Well, to be honest he didn’t look like a killer. The genocidal maniac was obsessive over feeding his dog after every teeny injury, giving pp and Herobrine a clear path of escape. Although they didn’t know when to take it
they could easily throw Sven into a giant bowl of creepers who would just blow up. and due to svens invincibility they knew he wouldn’t die, thus perhaps saving the Minecraft let’s play (actually they weren’t completely sure about this. PewDiePie had once said the playthrough died when he died but he also loved Sven his Minecraft dog so much) after pushing Sven into the vat of creepers, they escaped to the nether, knowing pewds hadn’t gone in there in a while. they decided death was the only way out of pewds Minecraft world to continue a quest to ur mom and set up a bed
as pp layed down the foundations of what would literally be their death bed, Herobrine gave out a yell, “Wait! what if we stay here.”
pp thought about living peacefully with his rival, relearning to be bros, but didn’t dare let it show physically, “No way! do you see where we are right now!”
they placed down there beds, 5 blocks apart cause they’re not gei, and prepared for respawn
as they sped through the tunnel of time and space itself, their bodies regrowing piece by piece, pp said a single word: homo. just homo. without the mandatory no to make it not gei, the respawn tunnel halted. and then it began to reverse, undoing their body progressions. and then they were at the location of their death beds
“What if we stay here” herobrine was yelling.
pp felt himself saying “yes”