You should always preserve your cum.

I had once gotten the idea when my dad would beat me with his shit sock. If I acted up, he would warn me by taking off one of his socks and take a large shit in it right in front of me, and put it in the freezer. If I acted up again, he would pull the shit sock out and beat the fuck out of me with it.

Now saving my shit ended up not being my cup of tea because my freezer smelt horrible and ended up ruining the food from the stench, but I found that saving my jizz had some great uses. All I have to do is load up on zinc supplements, hydrate, crank off into a condom, tie it up, and put it in the freezer.

First of all, frozen ejaculate makes as a great home defense weapon. There was one time some dumb fuck broke into my house. While he was rummaging through a room on the other side of the house, I snuck into the kitchen and pulled out one of my deadly weapons from the freezer. I waited for that fucker to come down the hall before I launched it across the room, hitting him in the head and knocking him the fuck out before he knew what was happening.

Second of all, frozen ejaculate makes as a great dildo. There are a lot of times where I’m too busy to go break into the morgue and have my way with a corpse that came fresh out of a dark alley, so I pack one in a cooler and be on my way. When I get the chance, I’ll take my dildo out and sprint to a bathroom stall, and proceed to force-fuck my innocent ass. I’ll go as far as moaning my last sexcapade’s name. “Ohhhh, Johnny…” I would utter, as a soft moan slips through my soft lips, wishing it was a cold hard cock thrashing into my cavity.

Lastly, frozen ejaculate is a great substitute for dressing/flavoring. You plan on making a salad soon, but don’t have any ranch? All you have to do is thaw out your dong water, undo the condom, and drip it all over the salad! You plan on marinating some steaks later on but don’t have the proper sauces to do so? Simply thaw a condom out, fill up a ziplock bag with your preserved fuck-sauce, slip in a fat steak and let it sit for a while, and grill away! If you’re on a diet, there’s no need to worry! Your semen is rich with over 200 separate proteins, which will pave the road to give you some solid gains.