As a connoisseur of erotica featuring the paramount leader of the People’s Republic of China, I was excited by the prospect of Sandra Coupland’s Xi’s the One. The cover features a wonderful image of the leader of the world’s largest Communist Party (and in my opinion, the best) in all his masculine glory, guaranteed to send even the most rabid advocate of Taiwanese independence into aroused submission. Xi’s the One deserves to be widely-published and read as an important supplement to Xi Jinping Thought and as an essential appendix to Xi’s own The Governance of China: Volume 1 (please please please Shanghai Press, if you’re reading this, release Volume 2 NOW!).


However, it is my sad duty to mark down the book due to a number of critical errors that all Xi Jinping erotica should contain as per the constitution of the People’s Republic of China:


\- No fanny patting.
\- No whispers of harmony.
\- Completely fails to highlight the benefits of the One Road One Belt Initiative.


Hence: 3 shining socialist stars out of five. Only the glorious flag of the PRC deserves the full five stars.