I don’t like you Gabe Newell
Nothing personnel, kid
But I must go all out
Just this once

Steak or banana, whichever will it be?
Sit the fuck down Gabe Newell, I’m here to spill the Mad Milk
You tryna get me killed with all those random crits
But you CS:GO, you lose, so don’t think you have the wits
When crits get removed
You are gonna look like a little bitch
I land all the melee hits
I just killed you click click
Ez, bye bitch, gone
So come on Gabe Newell
Looking hungry for banana
Here, have a sip of Crit-a-Cola

Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Gabe Newell ain’t nothing against Crit-a-Cola
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Look at Gabe Newell he’s just crying for his momma
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Gabe Newell ain’t nothing against Crit-a-Cola
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Look at Gabe Newell he just nerfed Beggar’s Bazooka

So who the hell Rob, and why’d he nerf the Bison? (ew)
I’m a top tier plat spy main and you’re just a noob engie (oof)
You got complete control of what happens every single game
I got random crits all day so hold your next updation (oops)
Half-Zatoichi, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean?
Your weapon sounds like it came from a Japanese community
No admin, no admin, yes admin, Gaben
Now down all of this Cola and let’s stomp this fucking server with some-

Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Look at Gabe Newell he’s just crying for his momma
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Gabe Newell ain’t nothing against Crit-a-Cola
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Look at Gabe Newell he just nerfed Beggar’s Bazooka
Crit-a-Cola, Crit-a-Cola
Gabe Newell ain’t nothing against Crit-a-Cola

You got a level of 150 in casual
But most of your fucking hats aren’t even god damn unusual
Aimbot!