>*Dear gay furry lover,*

>*Today is day 153 in the Liberal re-education center. Every day is the same, and I cannot stand it anymore. We wake up in the morning and are forced to do vigorous exercise such as lifting weights, splitting firewood, boxing, fox hunting on horseback, moving bales of hay, and mixing concrete. The formely soft, pallid, translucent skin of my hands is turning rough, tanned and calloused and the tips of my fingers haven’t touched a keyboard since I arrived. After exercise, we move into our re-education curriculum, where depending on the day we fix diesel engines, weld on aircraft carriers, operate combines, and worst of all slaughter literally any animal you can think of for us to eat. Pigs, goats, horses, cows, chameleons, very large frogs and even French bulldogs. Eating meat is a disgusting practice, it counteracts the testosterone blockers I have been sneaking and I have even begun growing hair on my balls….*

[next few lines obscured by mascara tear stains]

>*masculinity… soy…. social justice… muscular development… shaved my purple hair… In the evenings after work we are forced to recreate by playing basketball, shoot in 3-gun competitions, participate in MMA fights, and various other horrible activities that would make you shudder. Dinner every night is a giant ribeye we are forced to grill ourselves over a hardwood fire (imagine not having your food delivered to your door!) That they check to make sure you never go past rare, and garlic mashed potatoes with nothing but a choice between anejo tequila or neat single malt scotch to drink. In the evenings before bed, we change into velvet sleeping suits and sit in large, high-backed leather chairs in a large room with many old leather-bound books and a large fireplace smoke cigars and drink more scotch. We are only allowed to communicate by grunting and sentences of no longer that 5 words a minute apart.*

>*I cannot wait to return to you, don our dalmatian fursuits and frolic together before making violent love with our fists in our $4,000 a month 400 sq-ft studio apartment in San Fransisco and escape this hellhole of toxic masculinity and traditional morality. I don’t care how many Catholic Masses or classes on Economics I sit through, I will never abandon my degeneracy and ill-defined and contradictory egalitarian beliefs!*

>*Until we meet again my sweet furry lover,
>-Arf Arf Aroof (xhey-phem)*