The skin of a Diglett was smooth and brown and felt almost exactly like soft human skin beneath the touch of Luigi’s hand.

But of course there was nothing about Diglett that was human.

He was just eight inches tall, perfectly round and brown and protruding from the ground.

But there was something about the way his eyes looked in the sunset.

They were small and beady and black like a naked mole rat’s, to be certain – but they were also full of soul.

“I still can’t believe we’re doing this,” Diglett said, in the language of his kind.

To anyone else it would sound like he was only saying Diglett over and over, but Luigi knew more than your average plumber.

Ever since he was a child he had longed to leave home and go on his very own Pokemon journey and become a world famous breeder, but his evil older brother had never let him.

Mario had refused to ever allow Luigi to leave home, instead forcing him to go on terrifying quests that he never wanted any part of.

But he had at least been able to learn everything he could about Pokemon in secret, including how to speak their mysterious language.

That had been the second hardest thing that Luigi had ever done.

The first had been summoning the courage to ask Diglett out on a date.

“Me neither,” Luigi agreed. “I’m still nervous. This is all so new, and Mario will be furious if he finds out.”

Mario had never liked that Luigi was attracted to men, and he would beat his younger brother senseless with a pipe again if he knew that he was attracted to male Pokemon as well.

Diglett of course had no hands to reach out and touch Luigi’s face in comfort, but his eyes were so soft and tender that they made the gesture for him. “Hey,” he said. “It’s okay.”

They had decided to have their very first date in a romantic spot, on a hill overlooking a field of flowers at sunset.

It was one of the most beautiful things either of them had ever seen, except for, maybe, each other.

For a while they say in harmonious silence, enjoying the view and each other’s company.

And then Diglett asked a question that made Luigi’s heart freeze in his chest.

“I have to ask,” the Pokemon said with trepidation. “Tell me if this is too forward. Have you ever… been with a Pokemon before?”

Luigi’s mustache quivered. “I haven’t,” he admitted. “There was… once, there was a Charizard but it didn’t work out.”

What Luigi didn’t want to tell him was that he’d been too afraid to go all the way with Charizard.

And not because of Charizard’s flame thrower or enormous dragon dick, but because Luigi had still been too afraid of having a meaningful relationship.

But Diglett misunderstood. “Oh,” he said softly, with a sigh through his little pink nose. “I understand. Not many people want to be getting intimate with an eight inch tall person with no limbs or mouth to speak of. I understand it, Luigi. I used to be with a human, a redditor names Demetri and he fit me in his-“

“No!” Luigi protested with horror. “No, Diglett, no, of course not. I never want you to think anything like that. Never think that I only like you in a sexual way, because the connection I feel to you is so much for important than that. I wouldn’t care if we never had sex, because you mean so much more than that to me.”

“Luigi,” Diglett said simply, shocked and touched, with tears forming in his eyes.

It seemed contradictory, of course, but somehow Luigi’s declaration of how unimportant sex was to him just made him much more attractive.

Some people would question where a Diglett’s sexual feelings came from, since they had no visible genitals, but the answer was simple: they felt their desire through all of their tiny bodies.

Diglett felt his entire body swelling up with hot desire for Luigi.

“Luigi,” Diglett said in a sensuous tone, “would you like to find out what it’s like to be with a Pokemon?”

One part of Luigi was terrified.

He was afraid of his gay feelings, and his feelings for Pokemon, and he wasn’t sure what making love to an eight inch tall mole creature without any limbs would be like.

But the other part of him was excited, and he had an erection beneath his overalls.

“Yes,” he consented in a husky voice.

The two of them made out passionately, rolling all over their picnic blanket and scattering the foods Luigi had packed so carefully, sending the food tumbling down the hill.

All except for a bowl of jiggling jello, which Diglett stopped from rolling away.

“We’ll need this,” he promised.

He wasn’t wrong.

Before too long, Luigi was sprawled across the checkered picnic blanket with his puckered butthole stuck in the air, ripe for a rock smashing.

Diglett’s small body, which had grown larger with the power of his Luigi lust, was slathered up with the jello to make himself more slippery and ideal for penetrating.

Luigi screamed out as Diglett entered him – “PIZZERIA!”

Diglett began thrusting in and out with the speed of a thousand Jolteons, and both he and Luigi shuddered with ecstatic ecstasy.

Luigi felt himself getting closer and closer to a shining rainbow of orgasmic pleasure, but suddenly Diglett gave a little gasp.

“Oh no. Luigi, I’m going to come too soon. I- I can’t control it- I- OH!” He fell silent.

“D- Diglett?” Luigi asked, concerned, but then a blinding white light filled his eyes and he had no choice but to shut them.

When the light faded something was different – where there had been just one Diglett who was not even a foot tall, there were now three Dugtrios, each over two feet tall and glistening with the aura of being newly evolved.

“Dugtrio!” Luigi exclaimed, mystified.

In all of his years studying the way of Pokemon in secret, he had never seen one evolve up close.

“Luigi,” Dugtrio said, in an echoing powerful voice spoken from all three heads, “this is a miracle. I hadn’t thought I would be able to evolve any time soon. But the force of our love let me have such a powerful orgasm that I evolved right in the middle of it. I can never thank you enough.”

Luigi met all six of Dugtrio’s eyes, and then their passion resumed.

Not many trainers knew it, but evolution filled all Pokemon with an abundance of sexual energy, prowess, and endurance.

With his two new heads, there was now part of Dugtrio for every orifice – Luigi’s butt, his mouth, and his DNA rifle.

Finally the two of them had to fall back in the soft grass and fall into a peaceful naked sleep, exhausted from so many synchronized orgasms.

It was the single most blissful day of either of their lives, but their happiness could not last for long.

Hiding in the bushes was Luigi’s abusive elder brother Mario, who had seen everything through his binoculars and was filled with horror and disgust at his brother’s gay antics.

He made a decision then.

Dugtrio would have to die, and Mario would have to be the one to kill him.